This week has been just as busy as it is when I'm working doubles every day because I've had so much to do with my friends' weddings, working, cleaning, and exercising. I just finished my 11 mile around the park, which would have been 12 but my hip popped out right before the playground so I had to stretch and walk it out. I'm so ready for Jason and Kam to come home tonight =]. Jason asked me to come over right when I get off work. I'm excited to see what he got me, he said I'd love it. I can't believe it's been a year and almost 3 months already... it doesn't seem like that long at all. We're going to try and do another trip before we both go back to school. We also want to take Kam to Six Flags since plans fell through last Wednesday. Well, now I have to go back to work. I hope the time flies until they're back in town, I'm ready for a good night's sleep cuddled up to my honey.

back in focus.

I've been so busy lately. Working 12 hours a day a few days a week is killer. Then again, the money is kind of worth it. But not getting to see my family as much isn't. I haven't seen my dad in.... probably 3 weeks? But tomorrow I get to go see the midnight premier of Harry Potter with almost my entire family. Me, my mom, grandma, aunt, and all of my cousins are going! The only thing that sucks is the next day I have to work from 9am to 10pm. Boo. I can't believe how old all of my cousins are getting. Zachary is going to be a Sophomore!!! I actually had to give him the "If you're drunk and need a ride" talk the other day. I've been waiting so long for all of my boys to grow up though, I can't wait =]. They're all so freakin cute too. Not to mention taller than me. Jason is still in California. He's been texting me a lot, trying to keep his patience with his mom and Kam. I guess they're not used to being quite as active as Jason likes to be on vacation. Considering I prefer my vacations to include snowboarding, hiking, or camping, we get along quite well, but Kam and Marsha don't like to walk very much. San Diego Zoo all day = fail. Poor guy. He told me he wishes I could be there with him on the beach, which makes me feel better, but I still miss him. However, I've been keeping myself busy with working out =] I'm back to running even though I'm not supposed to with my hip, I can't help it. If it starts to hurt me again I'll just stick to Kenpo. I tried yoga but it's just not a work out. Yoga is a stretch for me, I need something that is actually exercise. I need to keep myself in shape. I don't want to be one of those stick girls, yuck! Jason especially hates those girls that don't eat and have no muscle or figure. He likes me the way I am, but I think I need to tone up. Good thing I worked at Fitclub for 2 years ;] that's all i got. I'm tired. night!

I've been working doublessss all week at brio. that's anywhere from a 12 to 8 hour day. my feet hurt, but i've been making like a hundred dollars a day at least only in tips. and tomorrow night i start back up at bed bath and beyond, technically my third job. wooo. i went on a long bike ride today it was sooooo nice out. shelby came home and surprised me on saturday =] def wasn't expecting that but i'm so happy to spend time with her before she goes back to california. don't really know why i decided to post i guess i just felt like writing. jason and i are going out to marley's tonight with my sister, her friends, and a bunch of friends from the sj-r. maybe this time jason and i will remember how we got into bed. hahahahah. ciao!

Forgiving

I went to youth group last night and the message was intruiging to me. It was about forgiveness and living every second of your life. I'm as guilty as the next person when it comes to spending unnecessary time being angry at someone for something I should have let go of long ago. My leader, Lori, explains that forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is only for yourself. Not necessarily something you even have to say to whoever hurt you, but just breathing out forgiveness. Saying to yourself that you let go of it, that you let go of the anger you have. You shouldn't forget whatever happened, because forgetting every wrong ever done to you would be ignorant, but not forgiving someone, and keeping it inside is only hurting yourself. It really makes sense, because if you think about it, whatever is really bothering you that someone else did... do you really think they're sitting and thinking about it as much as you are? Of course, forgiving someone isn't necessarily going to make the hurt go away, but it helps to let go of whatever happened. It seems so simple, once I heard all of that, but it's helping me already. I don't want to spend any extra time thinking about whatever has hurt me in the past, because it has made me the strong person I am today.
Done rambling, gotta go to my Research paper conference then get ready for some adventures at the Magic House in STL! :]

It's almost one in the morning yeahh... I can't sleep. And I have class at 8. Boo. I was really tired earlier today, so I don't know why I'm not now. I stayed up pretty late last night, until like 2 I think, then I woke up late and had to speed back to Edwardsville. I'm going to lunch with my future roommate tomorrow. We're getting a house for next year. I was talking recently with a friend about budgeting and decided I really need to start saving more. He suggested 10% of each check and I think that'll be good. I'd like to open up another account for it but I'll wait and see I guess. Hopefully this week will be easy, because this weekend will be much less busy than the last one. I went out like.... four nights in a row. Bahhh, I'm too old for that shit. 

"So this is how liberty ends..."

"...with thunderous applause." 

I just got back from a trip snowboarding today, and during the past three days I focused only on the mountains ahead of me. Jason and I have agreed that there are times we need to think by ourselves, and this week was mine. My dad is going through his second divorce, the first being to my mother. His current wife has been nothing but abusive throughout the 15 years I have known her, both to myself and her own daughter, who is exactly two months older than I. Their bickering still seems to echo, even though now my dad is at home, and I am at my mom's. It is extremely frustrating to know that my own father thought that someone so mean, so adamantly cruel was good enough for him. He may be difficult, and come off as controlling, but all of his suggestions are put forth with good nature. The fact that Shannon does not understand that does not surprise me in the least bit, as I told him, for she doesn't have a heart. I may not have had a wonderful relationship with my dad in the past, but I have since grown far past my numerical maturity to understand his true motives. I guess this is a lot to get out... but I'm not nearly done. I suppose I'll wait to see if anyone reads this, and write with more or less honesty after. 

The Weather's Center

I love my job, despite it's location directly next to the projects. They're all such good kids, ranging from Kindergarten to 6th grade. I can't wait for our Halloween party :]